May 2011
@starbucks
ah… it’s nice to have internet.
Speechless.
I work so hard and it counts for nothing
super mega ultra DUMB
the wi-fi here has youtube blocked. and netflix won’t work, i think they limit bandwidth. and torrent websites and of course proxies are blocked.
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FUCK
We arrived in Toledo Bend an hour or so ago. It’s too dark to set up the tent so we’re sleeping inside. Marsh is sleeping on the fold out couch with my brother, and I’m sleeping on the floor. It’s quite uncomfortable. And hot.
He’s only five feet away but I hate not sleeping next to him. I don’t understand how we spend literally every second together and...
Sitting in the bed in a towel. I really need to clean the room. It’d take barely any time.
Hopefully we have Internet here soon.
Last night
was bad.
Had an intense mental breakdown at work.
Had to leave.
I don’t even know anymore.
I’ve been crying for a straight hour.
I’m losing it.
My mom is the shit. She just showed up at work with 3mg of Xanax because I’m running low on klonopin.
I’m taking a 30 minute break and chain smoking outside where it’s shady. I’m definitely feeling a little woozy. But for some reason I’ve just started to require pills to make it at work.
I had a horrible night last night. I got home an burst into tears. So my...
The stoned quest for deadmau5 nirvana continues!
Last night I fell into a deep dreamless sleep because of it and he wasn’t able to wake me up.
I forgot the healing power of music.
Extremely high
Noise canceling headphones
Deadmau5
RAVE RAVE RAVE
Work was great until the end. But whatever. My mind is in the right place now. Under a blanket watching family guy and waiting for my prince to come!
I want so badly to take care of this for you. If I had the money I would in a heartbeat. But neither of us do.
I know you’re too depressed to do anything about it. But you need to stop running and you need to stop ignoring this because it will never go away. It will catch up to you, no matter where you go.
I’m torn between helping you fix it and helping you help yourself to fix it....
Perfect night
Me and the man I love
On our bed
Wearing pajama pants
Smoking a bowl
Playing xbox
Cuddly blankies!
I’m in a weird mood. About to leave mom and dad’s. I want to be held.
I’m in my bed. I miss it here. Everyone treats me weird, though. Like they’re mad because I’m hardly here. I don’t know.
I’ve spent so many nights in this bed, in this room.
I think really what it is, I just miss having a room to myself. My little space.
I think this is also me coping with losing my childhood. I turn 21 in less than 5 months.
My head hurts and...
I was gonna do an update but I’m at mom and dad’s house and getting fucking sleepy. So nap time I guess?
In an odd mood
But in the right state of mind.
So happy to be OFF finally. First day off in like two schedules.
Work was rough tonight. I almost hit a bitch. It’s a longer story and I’m too high to type it out currently. But she was a fat ugly cunt who started heckling me. Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me.
Early morning joe on the front porch.
So I guess I’m basically mostly living here now. Because most of my clothes and my xbox are now here.
I know my parents are upset about it but what can I do? There’s no going back to the way it was before, even if I wanted to. Except if me and Marshall broke up or something, which I don’t see happening. I just am afraid they resent me. But if my brother did it then why...
Lately
It’s been rough in my head.
I am trying. And succeeding, but it just takes it’s toll on me.
One thing at a time. Right?
