venomau5

New psychiatrist, Dr. Patell. He’s a middle-Eastern looking man. But his accent is understandable. We talked for a good hour. I feel good about it. I like him.

The problem with Dr. Bowers is that it’s really inconvenient to drive a fucking hour to appointments. Plus he’s so fucking impossible to get in touch with. He doesn’t have a receptionist and it’s super hard to get prescriptions written out and shit.

I went to the mall twice today. Once with Amber, once with Mom. I showed them both the key necklace I want from Marks & Morgan. Then Mom bought me a sash and crown to wear when we go out on Saturday night.

So Joe’s on his way to my house right now. I’m sitting outside on the patio. I’m nervous. He’s never been to my house before. I just fucking met the kid. But it’s all happening. And I’m okay with it.

If the person I’m supposed to be with happens to arrive into my life, I think I’m at the point in my life and my circumstances where it’s the right time.

WAH NERVOUS. We’re going to Ethan’s soccer game. Then he has Flamethrowers shit to do. And then we’re probably going out to Sylvia’s tonight for this underground music thing and beer.

s;lakdjf;asklfdj;lksajf;lklk;jdsfklj;k NEW PEOPLE MEETING MY FAMILY.
Wish me luck, you fuckers. <3 

Out where the stones lay like bones by the ocean

Out where the waves crash contempt on the land

Someone was trembling for fear of the tempest

Somebody silently reached for their hand

Said, understand that if you’re cold I’ll keep you warm

And besides, there’s so much beauty in a storm

So come down with me to the shore

And what’s more, I adore you

So tell me, what is there to fear

You think some seraph up above is trying to rob us of our love

Because the sky’s not clear

My dear, you know there’s not

Now listen to the rain upon the rooftop

But the wind picked up

Out where the stones stand up like thrones beside the ocean

Out where the waves make a grave of the sea

The lovers struggled in the middle of the tempest

And water angrily crawled up onto the beach

Said, hold my hand and stay with me

We’ll be released

But the tide clung like an anchor to her feet

And though he tried to make the water line recede

It pulled her out into the sea

He could not break apart the waves to bring her safely back in

He watched her hand break through the surface once

Then disappear again

Forever wait inside the sea for me, my dear

I hear you

You speak in every curling wave

And sing in every violent breeze

Someday not far away from here

My dear, I swear I’ll see you

And we will hear the seraphs cry

For they will still envy you and I

How they envied you and I

How they envied you and I

How they envied you and I 

Chris wants to take me out for a birthday dinner.
Just the two of us.
Wherever I want.
Sort of…. like…. a…. date…. ?
WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN?

 

I am so fucking drowsy. I feel under the influence of sleep aids.

I think it’s just today. I’m walking around the house in sweats and being lazy and doing laundry and shit and I’m just comfortable and my body is like “lay down and sleeeeeeeeeep.”

I woke up from my previous nap sweating and frantic and angry and lost. This shit is so old, I hardly even work up the energy to give a fuck anymore. I just like sleeping next to someone so that when I wake up and don’t know where I am, I am immediately pulled into reality.

I have to make up some bullshit interview for MCOM, and find 3 movie reviews online. Then study for a super fucking confusing BIOL quiz. I don’t fucking understand cellular respiration. I need to find a visual flash game online or something.

Listening to Kings of Convenience all day. Very calming.
I need a shower, bad.
Finish laundry.
Study.

Monotonousssssssssssssssssss. 

I didn’t think they’d want to come.
But they do, yay! 

Saturday is my birthday party, we’re barbequeing and shit. Bryn is bringing cake. And my parents totally okayed having booze here. Which is a fucking first.

Then me, my sister, my brother in law, my best friend, and Joe are all going out. I wanna go to Frosty and fucking karaoke. Show my sister and errybody what I can do. I can carry a tune pretty well. And I love karaoke.

And then probably Cowboys, but I dunno if the older kids will be down for that. Joe is the same age as my sister. :O

Cowboys has the opportunity to be awkward, with dancing. I’m horrible at dancing, and it’s so sexual and awkward. I will only be willing to deal with it if I am fucked up. I think that’s the only time I can dance, when I’m fucked up. 

I will be down for having a bank roll and treating everybody to shots.
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSSHOTS.
Fuck pussy shots, I want Jager.



But yea, I’m fucking excited to no end. Can’t wait.
If I end up getting the job, I hope they don’t make me start till next week. 

Found out, tomorrow is my doctor’s appointment which I had forgotten about.
It’s at the old office, where I used to see Dr. Mooney.

I hate getting used to new doctors. 

Woke up randomly a few minutes ago.
Wearing a hoodie, it makes me ridiculously happy.
I bet it feels awesome outside, can’t wait to go out for my morning smoke.

Joe’s so cute.
He actually calls me on the phone to talk.

To do list for today.
- Go to the bank, open a savings account.
- Call Cane’s, if they don’t call me back.
- Study retardedly hard chapter for BIOL105.
- Interview/3 movie reviews for MCOM210.
 
I’m pretty sure Cane’s isn’t going to drug test me.
Which is awesome.
All he said he was going to do was call Petsmart.
But I’m taking it easy on that shit, just in case.
I neeeeeeed this job.

I’m so glad I can sleep in today. 

shaboopalaboopy:

suggestions much appreciated :)

don’t get me anything! you’re already making me a cake!
ALSO… saturday evening i’m having a family/close friends party. basically my family, you, and joe. there will be barbeque and beer. you’re invited. :)