Hahahaha, be my guest.
I haven’t changed much.
You know how I play better safe than sorry
instead of searching for substance at every single party.
Baby, being part of this life I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
who’s been with everybody.
I need you to rescue me from my destiny.
I’m trying to live right and give you whatever’s left of me.
‘Cause you know life is what we make it
and a chance is like a picture,
it’d be nice if you’d just take it.
Or let me take it for you.
I’m down to ride
or we can roll around the city until you finally decide.
I got more than a thing for you,
tattoo and ink for you,
right over my heart, girl.
I do the unthinkable.
glad you had a good time,
but I’m still irritated at you and will continue to be until further notice.
“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call. Go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign ‘cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or a tornado. There are many people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded and that is all that is worth anything, really.”
Mom insisted on waking me up.
Yeah, it’s 2pm. But it’s Sunday, and I sleep on Sundays.
Not to mention I’m taking pills that knock me out.
For some reason today makes me sad.
I’m remembering past Halloweens.
I don’t want to get out of bed.
I’m not hungry but I need to eat.
Yesterday was just a complete failure.
I tried really hard for it not to be.
But it didn’t work.
I love Jim Carrey movies. Even in all his cornyness.